Friday, March 21, 2008

CHEWING GUM

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia. He was having his coffee, croissants, bread,butter and jam. A local man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him and started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them across to Singapore."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : "Do you eat the jelly with the bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian (Chuckling) : "We don't. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam ........ before we sell it across to Singapore."

This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia?"
Malaysian : "Why, of course we do."
Singaporean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Malaysian : "We throw them away, of course."
Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them across to Malaysia
........ and that's the real reason we ban the chewing of gums."


Thursday, March 6, 2008

BATHTUB TEST

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?



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